I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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