Dual....:-)
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
