I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i think i have two assholes
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize