It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
