Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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