so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
