Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
