I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
