Its about making memories worth repressing
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize