He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
