i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize