we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
