Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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