RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
