you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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