Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
