She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
