you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
did you just send me my own nude
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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