You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
