Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
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