thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
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