Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
