he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
