Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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