TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My feet surprised me
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
