yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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