i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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