When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Tornado booty call.. dedication
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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