I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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