i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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