All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
