So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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