Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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