I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
