Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
