I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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