girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
