Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
