Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
