hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
