I will die if light touches me.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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