He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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