Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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