i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
