Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize