the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
