You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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