o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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