Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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