i barfeds in our rink
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
