Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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