I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
