can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize