even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
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