okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
