Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
