3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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