I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
