Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
