Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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