I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
