your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
