Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
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