i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You left your phone here
Wait...
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