just tell him i said nine months
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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