hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
