Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
