They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize