I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
