why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
