"it" just moved
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
